Perspective comes in Darker Times

The Lesson of the Passing

It takes a darker time to realize life lessons. Last night I was notified in a group message of my friends’ wife going into hospice. I knew at that time she would be gone before morning. I do not weep for the departed, I hurt for the man left standing.

The departure of this soul leaves me pensive as it often does. I am inspired and challenged. It is unknown how a person will react to receiving notice for life’s end. Would I be bitter, angry, sad, happy? Would I be a dark mass moving through the remaining breaths? Or could I open to the joy of a life well lived and enjoy it to the last sip of life? It is unknown till we are faced with it.

Yet, aren’t we faced with a finality every day? People act like they do not have an expiration date simply because we don’t know what that date is. We move through our existence, making situations important, that at the end of the day, month or year, are not. We create drama, hurt feelings and an idea that there are certain things that need taken care of – by us. I understand straightening your home before an extended trip because the return is happier and gentler. But in your soul’s departure from this life and body, you are not returning. So, it would make sense to relax and trust. This is the challenge.

This person who has brought so much energy and pontification on my part, was met once. My friend loved her and that was enough for me to accept. In that brief meeting she was joyful and kind. The information of her illness was told to me through a mutual friend. At which point we could revel in her attitude and disposition. In that brief meeting, it became possible to trust a little more. This brief meeting also opened a door allowing me insight into how these two lived.

Never was there public information of sickness and treatments. Never did I know how long her “long struggle” had been. Never did I witness pity, anger, lack of faith, stagnancy or fight. What an inspiration this was.

What I could witness was much travel and exploration. I witnessed a loving union and trust. I allowed my mind to wander a bit when they proclaimed, they were taking a college course. Both have higher education degrees, so I knew it had nothing to do with that. I had to guess that whatever they learned would enrich their travels. What I would not know is the importance of staying close to home. I could guess this, but I would be forced to accept that my new bright, adventurous, happy friend was nearer to her end than I could possibly know.

On this day, I feel inept to help my friend. On this day I feel a little afraid that I have not lived my best life. On this day, I am inspired to be brighter, more adventurous and more joyful in my life. On this day, I am reminded that this is how I want to be remembered. And I am reminded to put that out to friends and strangers alike. I am reminded it must come from deep inside me, to miles around me to make that possible.

On this day I will share gratitude for all who have crossed my path, but for today I thank you Tamra for allowing me to see your brightness, your adventures, your trust to love and your joy in life.

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